Online Copywriting Advice - Painting a Picture
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A key concept from the book Persuasive Online Copywriting is to paint a picture. Instead of telling your reader "this is how it is," let them feel it:
This was an engaging ride in the F-16 jet.
As the G-Forces pulled my lips down to my chin and my belly onto my spine, I executed a Chandelle. I feverishly inclined to the left, pulled the stick and pressed left rudder pedal onto the floor. Falcon F16 obeyed my commands like a trained German Shepherd dog and pushed my blood to the bottom of my feet, almost knocking me unconscious. After coming out of the turn I fueled on the afterburner and pulled the stick, taking a vertical position and speeding upwards into the sky.
Source: optimization.ca
The second version paints a picture. The first version tells me nothing. This is one of the keys of a successful sales letter. Let readers feel your product; let them experience it.
Our subconscious mind sees no difference between imagination and reality; this is why dreams seem so real. When you ignite your reader's imagination and charge in with emotion to the point where readers experience your product in their imagination, their subconscious mind assumes they already experienced it, which brings them one BIG step closer to the purchase.
This is actually the whole idea behind visualization and autosuggestion described by Napoleon Hill. Once your subconscious mind experiences imagination CHARGED WITH EMOTION, it affects the conscious mind, its daily thoughts, and actions. It influences a person's CONSCIOUS actions to bring that person closer to the object of imagination.
It's cool, freaky, mechanical stuff. check it out.
Get rid of the "We"
Big brands like IBM, Ford and others have worldwide name recognition and can afford to brag about themselves all they want. They have the brand power and spend millions on advertising. Small companies naturally copy from the best and assume it works. Though copying from the best works in many cases, copying copywriting from big corporations DOES NOT; it lead to the "we-we" virus, where companies do nothing but brag about themselves "we are... we are the best... we've been doing it.. we ... we... we.."
Avoid talking about yourself, even on the "about us" page. State how you BENEFIT your visitors and focus on YOU instead of WE.
Imagine if this article were focused on me. I'd just brag about myself, without any effort to help you, saying: "I do this thing all the time, I am the best at it." In reality I am far from the best; so are many companies that claim "we are recognized leaders..."
Drop the "we" and focus on "you."
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